I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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