u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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