I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so explain again why im purple
no
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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