Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
