rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
