i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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