i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
