you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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