If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
