Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
