32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
