btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
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I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
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I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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