she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
