he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
