I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
