you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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