it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
