I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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