I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
