What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
