My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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