Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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