This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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