you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
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I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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