Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize