The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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