chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
