hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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