We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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