the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
