I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
