and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it's like heaven, but drunker
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I need to calm my uterus...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
