i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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