What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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