sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize