STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
