ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
