Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
