So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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