I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
