"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
