tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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