she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize