Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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