Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's official drugs can't kill me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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