He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
