Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
