I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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