Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
