you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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