Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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