Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He shit in the fireplace
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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