Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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