How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
