plz talk dirty to me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
