Michael Bay diarrhea
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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