Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
