I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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